Category Archives: family

Mile markers

We headed out early this morning for a walk on the greenway by our house. (I’m so grateful to have such a fantastic place to walk / run / bike so close!) I wrapped up little brother and big brother, daddy & I set out. Daddy is trying to get 10k steps a day in for an exercise challenge at work and we are helping. Going on a walk with a  preschooler is more of a “wander” than a “walk” but hey, exercise + togetherness = winning. 

Preschooler. Did you catch how I used that word instead of toddler? This is, in fact, my first official use of the term preschooler in reference to my firstborn. Crazy. 

We went to new parent orientation today at our new school. It was complete with name tags, donuts, k-cups and carpool maps. I could not be more excited-terrified-hopeful-anxious about this next step for our family. (Can I get an Amen out there, mamas?!) 

Big brother has no fears. He’s a Choleric (red) / Sanguine (yellow) so he just marches right in with a smile on his face. I love seeing it, but my mama heart isn’t quite ready to let go of my baby. 

I know their lives will be full of these moments. I carry them for 9 months and we are so close. They are born and I feel like I am always going to be living in the tension of letting them go and longing for that closeness again. My whole heart is walking down that hallway in his little plaid shorts. 

Big brother likes to stop at the mile markers along the greenway and trace the numbers with his fingers. I feel like I’m doing that too, and it’s a practice I hope I’ll keep. Stop at the mile markers when they come by. Pause. Savor. Look at how far we’ve come and look out at where we’re headed. Know where you are. Know where you’ve been & where you’re going. We even got to see some deer because we were being still. 

Not to be outdone, little brother cut his first tooth and discovered his feet today. Mile markers everywhere. 

How can you pause more, and contemplate the journey instead of just running through the to-do’s and busy days? Journaling? The Day One app is a good thing, or just get a moleskine and a good pen. Maybe just taking 5 min to sit and think. How often are you doing that? You never know what will come into view when you get still. Try something new and see how being intentional about your journey makes it sweeter. You might just find yourself arriving at a destination with a little more intention, and that’s the key. 

” Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” 

 -Moses from Psalm 90 

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Took my 4 month old & my 3 year old to see their doctor today. Well visits. Height. Weight. Vision. Ears nose throat. Fruits & veggies? Sleep? Milestone checklists.

Then they bring in the percentile charts.

Should I feel good about where they are?

I wonder.

What did it look like before the CDC, the WHO and the AAP told us the “shoulds”? What was parenting like without percentiles?

I went to a mom conference before my first was born. I was still working at the time. The speaker talked about how as moms we often let our kids be our reviews, or our report cards. She talked about how we shouldn’t do that. I had no idea at the time how difficult that would be.

I don’t know about y’all but I seriously judge myself by how my kids are doing. When the meltdown happens I wonder what I did wrong, and when he poops in the potty by himself I feel like there should be a crowd of people giving me a slow clap for my awesomeness.

So we got percentiles at the dr office and then we got facebook groups for every category of parenting. I had to quit social media for about a year because of all the madness that was on there due to politics. Other than the politics was the parenting craziness. Parenting on social media is almost as heated as the politics! Lots of judgement there. Breastfeeding vs formula, cosleeping vs cry it out, daycare vs stay at home mom. Lots of areas for judgement from other people, not to mention the self-inflicted kind.

Today I’m grateful for: healthy boys, a fantastic pediatrician and last but certainly not least a super amazing husband who is a spectacular father. I’m doing my best to define myself by who Jesus says I am, and not by my mom hair, yoga pants, Facebook status or percentile ranking.
What’s your mama guilt about? Where do you feel like you’re struggling with mamahood? I gotta tell you, you’re doing awesome. Don’t listen to those percentiles, and maybe stop following some of those groups on facebook. What if we were out in the old west, and didn’t have any of that? We’d be working hard, loving our kids and keeping our families fed. That’s enough. Love em hard & feed em.

Good job mama.

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